The Day I Stopped Making and Eating Chocolate…

09 Nov

It was a dreadful day… and it happened quite recently, on the 4th April 2012, it was Easter and I was in beautiful Italy spending quality time with my family. My sister and I had spent the entire night talking about our papa who lived in Lagos, Nigeria. We were unaware of the devastating news we were to receive the next day.

It was lunchtime when we received the phone call from Africa, thinking it was our dad, my sister picked up the call, laughing and giggling “hello Papa” she said, only to find out our cousin was on the other end. What followed was a complete blur to me and it felt like someone was playing a nasty joke on me, but my father was no more…

The days and nights that followed was complete anguish, pain and despair…. My entire world stopped spinning and  i had to stay strong for my sister was 8 months pregnant with her first child and I was the only one physically able to attend my fathers funeral… Alone… And in Africa… I didnt know what to expect. I hadn’t been there in over 15years…


photo credit: Chad McDonald

The weeks that followed was a complete shock to my system. From vaccines, to Visas, unorganized airports, electrity outages, chickens strolling on the streets and then seeing my papa’s lifeless body, not being able to feel the safety and protection of being around him tore me to pieces… But i held it together and wore my traditional clothes and went through the burial process the Nigerian way. His life was celebrated…


photo credit: Jeremy Weate


photo credit: Jeremy Weate


photo credit: zouzouwizman

Eventually flying back to my life in London, everything felt strange and foreign to me. I had gone from one extreme to the other, my appartment didn’t feel like mine anymore. It felt like i had walked into someone elses life… What followed has been months of complete shut down… I couldn’t work on my chocolate business, I couldn’t imagine smelling or tasting chocolate or wine or any of the goodness of life. I stayed in bed, I stayed with friends, I kept a low profile and searched for peace…

It’s November now… the month my dad would be celebrating his 66th birthday this month…things are slowly improving. My little nephew is such a joy to be around. I think of him and can’t help but smile.

I am making and eating chocolates again, Im speaking with a bereavement counsellor and attending church, I have also been shown so much love and support from my wonderful friends. That dreadful day, the music stopped and I closed my chocolate business. Today, i have re-opened my business with a new song in my heart and I know my papa watches over me. I’m also thinking of making a special chocolate bar and naming it “Papa Kola” im hoping to do that real soon…

As you can see, not everyday is chocolate day… But one day it will come to comfort you again with its smooth and velvety textures, just like a robe, until that day… Que Sera, Sera (whatever will be, will be) xoxo

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Posted by on November 9, 2012 in chocolate news


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